RIFF MARKET

On Just-Kidding Fag-Basher "Donnie Davies"

Pretty much agree with this one entirely. I can't remember the last time I called somebody a fag, ironically or otherwise, mostly because I remember the first time somebody called me a fag. I remember looking it up in the dictionary and reading something about a bundle of sticks and thinking to myself, "Why would somebody call me a bundle of sticks, how is this a worthy jab at me for wearing this bright-colored jeff cap and being scared of spiders, etc." And then it occurred to me that, ironically or otherwise, a faggot is a bundle of sticks, and the one thing people do with sticks is they burn them in fireplaces. So a faggot, to my vaguely effeminate 11-year-old self, was a person fit for burning. And I pretty much disagreed that I was fit for burning. I had some babyfatski on my at the time, and maybe that would burn for a while, but it's not like I had anything surface-wise that could ignite, and there was no way I was going to sacrifice my one lonely taint pube to find out.

Anyway Donnie Davies, ironic or not, is the faggot here--fit for burning for spewing such vile shit and then hiding behind a shitty comedic premise (gay bands vs. straight bands? come on), one big fat JK, and a slightly less big fat question mark as to whether it's real or not, which as usual is deflecting all the internet idiots from the real matter at hand here: Intent, Whether It's True Or Not, all that other stuff, is secondary to the content and execution and message, which treads so close to actual ultraconservative sentiment that parody is pretty much impossible. It's a dude parodying baseless hatred by being baselessly hateful? Sorry, I prefer my own parody of the Nazis, in which I hold my finger up to my face like a Hitler moustache, burn some Jew friends I know, and hold my other hand up and give the whole fucking thing scare quotes.

It was about a year ago when that Mothers Against Noise thing happened. Not worth teasing out the distinctions between MAN and DD/lovegodsway, or rehashing all the viral marketing red herrings programmed into MAN's comedically rich internet circa-95 writing, the Cory Arcangel-ish bent to the site that for me qualified as new media art. Christ, even if the premise of DD was "gay bands" I'd be like, OK, I remember being in high school, calling things gay, being gay, driving in my friend's beat-up Gayota, etc. But there's a call to arms involved with DD/LGW, a judgement and a witchhunt that's already too much of a possibility in this country without the help from some asshole propagating it, unwittingly or not.

4 GAY RIFFS

Labels: hoax, idiots, wtf

Tuesday Grapeshot 02
Sorry, Tough Weeks Lately

Native American Subway Performers

These guys have breeded apparently and are now populating other places besides the Times Square subway stop. You know who I am talking about, the people who wear the rugs and play the electric flute smooth jazz stuff over really world music-type electronica. Normally the "band" is like three dudes and one of the dude's kids watches over the cash hat. Anyway, passing thought: Are these Native American Subway Performers a franchise or something? My reasoning is that none of them are particularly great, but I am happy to report they all sound exactly the same, which makes me think they share notes--possibly notes from a master NASP document of some sort. I'm guessing that at the very least they've formed some kind of workers union just in case somebody starts charging more for electric flute rentals, the pricing of which I quite honestly know nothing about. You certainly can't get one of those guys at Guitar World. Anyway, if there's not a Native American Subway Performer business yet, consider this post the first press release from your brand-new CEO of NASP, Inc. Slate.com, please don't steal this idea. 67 RIFFS



Demon Days [ft. Tim Sweeney, Carl Craig, Gamall]
Studio B
January 19

I'll talk through this (great) party eventually, for now I'm just digesting a) how ridiculously out of touch Internet Music People can be sometimes, and b) how MP3s really might be fucking everything up after all. I've had that Depeche Mode "Sinner In Me" Villalobos Conclave Remix for six months (downloaded it off ohmygosh I'm pretty sure), listened to it a few times on my Grados and system too, thought it was good-not-great, moved on with my life, loved "Fizheuer Zieheuer" whenever that came out. I knew the track (i.e. "Sinner In Me (VCR)") sounded spacious, all the different percussion lines firing off into total darkness, blinking like owl eyes when the lights go down low in cartoons, the one slurping bassline and the vocal track settling respectfully into the same domain. When Tim Sweeney played it at Studio B though, I couldn't believe how insinuating the music was physically, how much color was to each little click and clack, how deep the bass actually was, how that subbass rolls through you across the pan like a horrific chill--DAH-da-do, do-da-DAH, DAH-da-do, do-da-DAH--just back and forth right fucking through you. It's one of those things where you know some quality is lost in the compression, I just didn't know that much was lost. 80 RIFFS



Deerhoof: "The Galaxist"

Reminds me of Radiohead's "Creep," the way the song (i.e. "The Galaxist") starts as this pretty pleasant space ballad, not much to it except Satomi over guitar arpeggios and horntones, then John Dieterich's guitar just cuts through the entire canvas of sound like a bowie knife. 76 RIFFS



The Annuals: Be He Me

This has to be the worst album I've heard in six months. That's saying a lot, because I just heard that new Menomena album too. Fucking wow. If you wanted another reason why the Go!Team are awful, it's this even more worthless crowd of Go!Team-type pep-rockers who think they can get away with no hooks and no character simply by wearing costumes and doubling up the drums and upping the volume and basically just shouting a lot about how much fun it all is. Christ, start a hedge fund already. 5 RIFFS



RECENT FAVORITES

Depeche Mode: "Sinner In Me (Villalobos Conclave Remix)"
Escort: "A Bright New Life"
Laurent Garnier: Shot In The Dark
Allez Allez: African Queen
Peedi Crakk: Torture: Crakk Is Back
!!!: "Heart Of Hearts"
Jah Wobble, The Edge, and Holger Czukay: Snake Charmer

Labels: 2007, concerts, dance, indie, internet music people