RIFF MARKET

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All you internet Homer Simpsons out there get your heads out Veronica Belmont's donuts, it's the BIG DOH REHAB here on the SEVENTH DAY OF SPIDERRIFFMAS


Each contributor to the 12 DAYS OF SPIDERRIFFMAS was told: OK I'll let you jump on a record, but listen Kite Runner! You got 35 minutes max. Because I do not want no Bonfire of the Vanitas like last year. So the only rule was: Thou shalt not write more than 35 minutes--capito?

Also if anybody knows what happened to my man Don Pollyanna get at me! Also if anybody knows a good dentist

FANG

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YEAR IN RIFFS: ADAM MOERDER
Lat Pull-Downs: Favorite Musical Moments of 2007

After spending the last month very academically and mechanically procuring year-end album and singles lists, I defragged my brain by going back and listening to whatever songs gave me the most visceral kick. Below are some very subjective moments from those songs that made me the most excited about music in 2007, regardless of whether or not they were in any way "important" to music on the whole.

The Tough Alliance - "Miami" @ 1:35
My former college roommate is a huge Miami sports fan, so when Eric Burgland lets out that first huge sighing chorus of "ah"s on this tropical-tinged ballad, I'm always reminded what a shitty sports year it's been for the city. The Marlins, Dolphins and Heat all suck, Miguel Cabrera and Dontrelle Willis got dealt, U of M football is in a tailspin, and of course, the Sean Taylor shooting. I think TTA's Situationist politics bit is pretty intriguing, even if I'm not quite sure exactly what it entails, but "Miami" is my favorite song from them, probably because they step down from their soapbox and let you fill in the blanks, but also because it still registers when taken out of TTA's barnstorming context.

Animal Collective - "For Reverend Green" @ 4:55
There are a lot of times I feel really bad about being a staunch atheist, especially that period this year when I read new books by Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens back-to-back and incessantly harangued all my friends about how the Middle East should be blown up and that Billy Graham is worse than Hitler. I'm sorry, guys. Anyway, the worst feeling though is when the church I was confirmed in sends me a birthday card each year, single-handedly one-upping all those Facebook wall posts and pokes, and how I'm reminded of my former reverend, Reverend Roberts, who suffered a stroke halfway through my confirmation classes and has been placed in assisted living ever since. Now she was a reverend in the U.C.C. church, so out of all the Biblical stuff to get excited about--the four horsemen stuff, the time God killed a guy for picking up a stick on Sunday, et al--she became most animated when discussing how more movies need to depict aliens as loving creatures like E.T. rather than the soulless conquerors stereotype we're used to seeing in sci-fi. Pretty heavy stuff, which is why when Avey Tare repeatedly yelps "For Reverend Green!", I can't help but think of that one confirmation class when a crazed Reverend Roberts denounced Independence Day as "horseshit."

Justice - "Genesis" @ 2:16
One of my 2007 pet peeves was all the comments/criticism Justice received for sounding coked up, a lot of it coming from critics who've never even done cocaine. Cross has a lot of cogent moments--sexy even, which would be impossible if they were so coked up since cocaine makes your dick numb--the first of which occurring 136 seconds into the album. The minute or so surrounding this moment on Cross's opener was my go-to adrenaline fix at the gym, helping push me through many sets of bench press and lat pull-downs while saving me a lot of money I would've wasted on NO-Xplode otherwise.

Of Montreal - "We Were Born the Mutants Again With Leafling" @ 3:38
Usually I maintain a pretty good poker face re: songs about relationships, but Hissing Fauna synched up so Dark Side of the Moon/Wizard of Oz-like to my own girl troubles that I couldn't help but indulge myself in Barnes's medicated heartbreak. That's not to say I regressed here to junior high levels of schmaltz, cranking up Weezer's blue album and writing shitty poetry in my bedroom because a girl I liked didn't sit next to me in the cafeteria. "Mutants" is a really pretty, optimistic closer to a dark album filled with misogyny and medicinal/recreational drug struggles. Not to wax Klosterman, but my personal Hissing Fauna ended with a girlfriend level-up on par with the upgrade from Super Mario Bros. 2 to Super Mario Bros. 3--lots of fun new levels, new costumes, a warp whistle, etc. As for the lyrics on this song, I have no idea what's going on so it's hard to for me to relate, though I guess I also felt like a "mutant" earlier this year when I had a really bad sinus infection.

97 S'FANGS

Labels: year-in-riffs-2007