RIFF MARKET

Dark knights! You know it's been a minute since I've been back in old fang country--Wu Wear HQ whaddup!--coasting the ferry parking lots on my 'goose, bunnyhopping over boxes of ganked Yankee farmteam merch till Ma Liberty killed the moonlights, my man Don Pollyanna riding on my back pegs looking for half-smokes to puff, the Jack Sparrow of this shit if there ever was one--it has been a minute!! So what I'm going to do is take it back for you, when the internet was just a thing I drew on Mario Paint, when a man was a man when the second after Boy Meets World finished up 9pm, he was in the bathroom getting his quiet riot on to Topanga's hot asian friend in that doubledate episode with all the frenching. IT HAS BEEN A MINUTE!!

On the ninth day of SPIDERRIFFMAS today I got my man the Real Jake the Snake giving you a taste of his next verse for my next single, it's gonna be called FANG GANG. It's got this soul feel to it, but with like ten-thousand guitars. Shoutout to my man DJ Hometaping--he's murdering the game! FANG

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YEAR IN RIFFS: THE REAL JAKE THE SNAKE
GUEST VERSE

Real recognize real, Fang. Snake's in the motha fuckin house. Let 'em know.

Hey, yo, yo, Fang talk about trickin all his "Google Earth Bitches".

Meanwhile Snake constrictin on all you fuckin snitches.

My scales, my scales, my scales, uh!

Poison, bitch!

Let's go!

Defamation, desquamation, A! A!

Hustlin, bitch, you know snake's got that yay! Ya!

You don't see me, but I'm comin,

So slippery, Snake in the grass,

Rat-tat-a-tat-rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tattle,

I straight fuck up yo' life when I bite all yo' tenda cattle.

Hustlin, bustlin, rappin, bitin, hissin, rattlin, killin, lova,

Makin that pussy all kinds of wet when Snake's winding up inside ya

Mad, crazy nice, son,

Eatin tons of mice, son,

That's the type of shit I'm on,

Rattlin to the break of dawn,

Pussy ass rappers best get gone,

I'll bite you.

Snakes.

Ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

I'm out.

Get venom!

97 S'FANGS

Labels: year-in-riffs-2007