RIFF MARKET

Best Jobs in the Music Industry

As several people have already inquired, there's a lot of speculation re why I'm back in the blogging game five posts/week after nearly three weeks of 0-1 posts/week. I admit it. I'm like the fucking Blog Lazarus of this blog. Everyday is the Wedding of Cana around here isn't it. Pour wine into my mouth and watch me piss out a crown of thorns. But as none of you have guessed, it is not because I am catching up on some popular movies from the last few years, such as Borat (fat guy not fat enough), Mean Girls (not enough of the Indian kid who likes math--maybe for sequel?), Labyrinth (too similar to actual labyrinths), and Children of Men (should have been exclusively about this guy:



).

As all of you have guessed, it's because I've been doing a lot of thinking about music, and the music industry, specifically best jobs within the biz, i.e. bizjobs. I've also been thinking about the worst bizjobs too but maybe that's implicit. So this is what I've got for you. These are the best and worst jobs in the music industry. If you're on the fence, I would strongly recommend taking one of the best bizjobs before taking one of the worst bizjobs.

BEST BIZJOBS

1. The guy who licenses rap music to the US Army for use in Gitmo torture sessions. I had lunch with this guy over the weekend and he makes a lot more money than you'd think

2. The guy who drives around the city honking at dogs crapping on the sidewalk. Pretty sure he works at Interscope

WORST BIZJOBS

1. lead singer of the Twilight Sad

2. bassist for Alice Coltrane

Labels: music