RIFF MARKET

Stylofone
Mercury Lounge
June 3

Download: "Hotstepper"

You know I hate hate hate your hit em up knock em down mp3 bloggers out there, throwing up garbage for concert tix, slowly eroding away this grassroots' e-green. Thing is I don't know what else to do with Stylofone. Maybe a riddle? I saw them play the Merc on Saturday under the pretense that they were some sort of Television revivalists, purveyors of marquee punk, kids who can play Mozart on guitars but like John Lydon more. Actually they're closer to arena rock revivalists, doubling up the main guitar riffs, lots of guitar/vocal call/response action, big hair solos, "monster" drum fills, etc. I don't see the glam or the masquerade others might--they're much more American, for lack of a better, that same Bruce Springsteen hardworking band sincerity, unembarrassed of their private lessons or the physicality of playing rock music. Really jarring to see a band where all four guys have chops; maybe I need to like better bands.

Then I'd say same old same old, arky darkness diamond nights the sword, but these guys really are young too, so I'm confused re: the Canon of Cool to which they subscribe. It might be a Canon of Technical Prowess, and to be honest, after the supposed refreshingness that is postpunk diy I've been flirting with the CTP more--getting palpable excitement from seeing a guy just slay the shit out of 16 open bars or another guy pound more beats into his toms than any of his friends can. The opposite is overly glorified, and the naivete actually doubles back on itself, borders on fascist-like restraint. Look, if you don't read the manual for the car radio, you'll never learn how to program the presets. The scan button only scans so quick.

My boss and I were talking about that on the way down to that festival two days ago. He doesn't know how to play any instruments but (from what I can assume) can sense when somebody has their shit right and tight. For some reason that's important to him, call it whatever you want. He calls it Probot.

Not to get too assholish about songs here but even after the whole je ne sais quoi stuff you clowns talk about, maybe a song really only is the sum of its parts. The awesomer the individual parts are, and the more of them there are, can have something to do with how awesome the final product is, if not everything to do with it. Case in point: All classical music is better than all rock music.

Just saying that I can see people being hesitant about throwing weight behind Stylofone because they value virtuosity, period. And virtuosity is mistaken anymore to be undemocratic. Maybe hooks are a fickle ruse, and maybe the money's on actual quantifiable talent again--talent that people who don't know a thing about music respond to just as much as Little Man Tate or the kid with six fingers from GATTACA. It'd certainly make the reviewing gig a lot easier, the buzz thing a non-entity.