RIFF MARKET

You have got to be kidding me: best band in the world? Please stop clowning yourself. Does everybody forget what happens when a Sleater-Kinney album comes out? Here is an hour-by-hour blow-by-blow account of a Sleater-Kinney FAN talking to himself when a new S-K album hits the filesharing sector:

5PM-"Fucking dog in Christ's shit, it's the new Sleater-Kinney album, this one surely has the longevity that all the others had"
7PM-"I'm still listening and it's been exactly two hours--five bags of cumdogs this is great"
8PM-"Oh look that Matos guy put it as his number one album on his once pretty awesome, now erratically updated blog"
9PM-"..." (nobody cares about Sleater-Kinney)

No band in my mind comes close to this hot-then-cold in three hours BUT THEY'RE STILL TEH BEST bullshit. Nothing personal. I'm the same way with S-K. When I used to exercise at Maxim Health I would listen to "Jumpers" on the bike; tellingly, when I got off the bike I would stop listening to "Jumpers." See where I'm going with this? Why can't we leave S-K on the bike? Are there complicated gender issues I'm missing, some weird backhanded cred involved in saying a girl rock band is better than a guy rock band? Have you listened to Sleater-Kinney's lyrics? Obviously I'm bummed that so many of you are bummed, but maybe this is what needed to happen for everyone to realize the truth about "the best band in the world": not great for freeweights.