RIFF MARKET

Thursday Double-Post Edition, Part 1

Probably because they all heard it from the same guy, every American I know has loved to point out at American bars to their American friends that the Brazilian soccer team "plays the game of soccer like it's a symphony." Another American perks up. "You mean the game of football?" Everybody laughs uncontrollably for three minutes then goes back to pretending they don't think Ronaldinho looks like an alien. Terry Tate tackles himself.

All of this begs the question: Why don't we ever say "the Boston Symphony Orchestra slammed that tune Vince Carter style," or "Sonic Youth played CBGBs like two fat Japanese guys trying to sit on each other," or "Kurt Cobain played guitar like he was ghostwriting a sermon for the reverend Reggie White..." ???