20 April 2006
LENNY KRAVITZ CLOGS RIFF MARKET'S TOILET
APRIL 19--For the third year running, Lenny Kravitz has been sued over a toilet that overflowed in the rock star's Manhattan penthouse in mid-2004. As with two prior lawsuits, Kravitz has just been named in a New York State Supreme Court complaint charging him with negligence in connection with the August 2004 toilet incident.
Negligence? Let's give Kravitz credit: He was probably trying to do something pretty awesome with that toilet. Here are a few theories floating around:
- Lenny Kravitz just signed the Absolut Kravitz deal and decides he wants to celebrate. "I want to fly away," he says. He sits down on the toilet and flushes it 500 times.
- Lenny Kravitz wants to throw an Absolut Hell party. He doesn't want to dress as the devil but is a good sport about it. To simulate the flames, Lenny Kravitz covers his floor in gasoline, plays the guitar solo from "Getaway" five times, then lights the floor on fire by playing the drum parts from "Getaway." His apartment is now completely in flames. In the bathroom: the chick drummer from the "Are You Gonna Go My Way" video, shitting.
- Lenny Kravitz is hanging out with the chick drummer from the "Are You Gonna Go My Way?" video. She tells him she wants to go his way. Lenny Kravitz tells her to go into the bathroom and wait for him--he wants to put something special on for her. She is so excited she flushes the toilet 450 times.
- Lenny Kravitz wants to change his apartment plumbing from regular water to Kravitz water, which is just Absolut Kravitz vodka he's stolen from the Absolut Kravitz vodka factory. Because Kravitz doesn't get along well with the building super, he decides to take matters into his own hands. First Lenny Kravitz drinks twenty bottles of Absolut Kravitz vodka; his body is now flushed with the namesake liquid. Then Lenny Kravitz goes to the bathroom. He plans to pee out Absolut Kravitz in the small window of time between after you flush a toilet but before the bowl is refilled. "This is how Kravitz water is made," says Kravitz. Nobody is listening.
// posted by NBS @ 9:00 AM 
