07 April 2006

CAMP NAMA: NOT RIFF FRIENDLY



If you read the NYT article from a few weeks ago about the American goverment's Camp Nama and how their military tortured Iraqis for intelligence before shipping them off to Abu Ghraib, where they were tortured again, you might have seen this line:

Jailers often blared rap music or rock 'n' roll at deafening decibels over a loudspeaker to unnerve their subjects.

And they spelled rock and roll like that too.

So I've been working overtime. I've been talking to Iraqis, American soldiers, pretty much anybody with a military jacket, beard, or crazy hat. After that, I talked to some rock critics; some of those guys know a lot about politics. And now, I present an exclusive transcript of the jailers torturing an Iraqi with the aid of rap music and/or rock 'n' roll.


CONFIDENTIAL

THE US MILITARY
CAMP NAMA, IRAQ
APRIL 15 2004

TOP SECRET: TRANSCRIPT OF AMERICAN SOLDIERS

[BEGIN TAPE]

AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: DO YOU KNOW ANY SUBJECTS
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: YES LETS UNNVERVE THEM
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: OK I WILL GET THE LOUDSPEAKER

...

IRAQI: AMERICAN SOLDIERS WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T BLARE THE RAP MUSIC
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: WE ARE GOING TO PLAY YOUTHE RAP MUSIC
IRAQI: OK
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: AMERICAN SOLDIER #2 DO YOU HAVE ANY BIGGIE
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: NO I ONLY HAVE SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS RAP
IRAQI: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: DO YOU HAVE ANY BLACKSTAR
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: YES
IRAQI: NOOO

...

AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: IF WE PLAY 'UME SAYS' ONE MORE TIME I BET HE WILL TELL US INFORMATION THAT PERTAINS TO HIS LEADERS WHEREABOUTS
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: I AGREE
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: I JUST PLAYED 'UME SAYS' ONE MORE TIME
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: GOOD
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: IRAQI, TELL US THE INFORMATION
IRAQI: NO I AM TOO BUSY DANCING TO THE RAP BEAT
AMERICAN GENERAL: HEY WHAT IS THE MATTER IN THAT CELL!@!!!@!@
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: HE CANT STOP DANCING

...

IRAQI: CAN YOU BUY ME A SUBWOOFER
AMERICAN SOLDIERS: NO

...

AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: I HAVE A SECRET WEAPON
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: CADENCE WEAPON?
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: ROCK 'N' ROLL
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: LET US PLAY HIM THE ROCK 'N' ROLL
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: GET THE DECIBEL MACHINE

...

IRAQI: IS THIS THE CLAP YOUR HANDS ALBUM
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: YES THEIR HARDWORKING DIY AESTHETIC WILL CRUMBLE YOUR SPIRIT

...

AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: FUCK WE HAVE RUN OUT OF OPTIONS
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: WE HAVE PLAYED HIM BOTH THE RAP MUSIC AND THE ROCK 'N' ROLL
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: HE REMAINS NERVED

[ENTER CATCHDUBS]

CATCHDUBS: HOODY HOO ITS ME SEARGENT CATCHDUBS DEPUTY GENERAL OF THE MASHUP
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: HOLLA
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: LIEUTENANT DUBS DO YOU HAVE AN IDEA INVOLVING THINGS
CATCHDUBS: YES I HAVE A CATCHDUBS MASHUP REMIX OF SKEE-LO'S 'WISH I WAS A BALLA' AND THE BREEDERS' "CANNONBALL"
AMERICAN SOLDIER #1: IS IT SICK
CATCHDUBS: YES IT IS OFF THE WALL
AMERICAN SOLDIER #2: NATIONAL SECURITY IS IN YOUR HANDS

[END TAPE]

Comments:
omg this was funny
 
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